I think that the perspective on emotion that made the most sense to me
in chapter 7 was the Cognitive Labeling View of Emotions. I thought this perspective made the most
sense as I felt that the Perceptual View of Emotions was interesting, but it counted
for a perception of the event which may not be as accurate in defining both
males and females. Men tend to read
events from a practical perspective and women from an emotional one, which I feel
makes women more of a variable in this perspective. The Interactive View of Emotions I also found
interesting and accounted for cultural differences, but one thing I felt necessary to challenge is that sometimes you
can’t change how you feel about something.
Or rather I should say that you can, but it can take years and even
therapy so I don’t think “emotional work” always works.
The Cognitive Labeling View of Emotions I felt balanced a
response of emotion for both men and women as well as making people really
consider and identify exactly what emotion they are feeling. Sometimes I get really upset and angry with
my boyfriend when he tells me he is going to stop by my house and he last
minute changes his plans. It took him a
long time to understand that when he does this, the angry feelings are not
necessarily being angry but come from by being hurt. I had to sit him down and explain to him that
when he tells me he will be somewhere, I wait for him and turn down other
people’s offers to hang out. His
cancelling feels like he has just found something better to do and that hurts
me. The resulting are disappointment, a
disrespected feeling for my time, and my feeling as if I slipped as a priority
to him. After communicating this to him,
he could better see my standpoint and be more careful in future to avoid this
personal trigger of mine.
I like how you took gender into consideration in your blog post. I most definitely like your example with your boyfriend because I can relate to that. Partially is because I need to have a schedule set for myself and if anything last minute happens or a sudden change in plans I get flustered and start to stress out because I need to do an immediate change in plans that might or might not throw off everything I had planned for the day. I like how you directly told you boyfriend in a civilized manner what was bothering you and how it makes you feel so that it makes him aware of what he is doing rather than you just sit around like a waiting duck furious or upset. The key to long term relationships with anyone, even family, is nice civilized communication. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi There,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with you that men and women express different emotions. I believe this can be attributed to the way that each gender is raised and expected to behave given society norms. Given this, I also did not choose the perceptual influences. I actually went with the physiological influences, as this best related to my life. It was interesting to read your thoughts on why your choice was made. I wonder if you and your boyfriend both had to pick a category would match, given the differences between men and women. I wonder if you had not said anything if anything would have changed, or he felt when you two were discussing this, he may have felt sick to his stomach or felt sadness.
I also chose the cognitive labeling view of emotions because without reflection, moving forward successfully is difficult. I can relate to your points about your relationship. It is hard for men and women to communicate effectively 100% of the time simply because our brains work in two completely different ways. In order for the two sides to understand each other, sometimes we need to just say what it is we are feeling. Once the problem has been laid out, it is then possible to go back and reflect on some of the expressions and feelings. This is why the cognitive labeling view of emotions is so important.
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