For my weekly
freebie, I have decided to write on relational dialectics. Relational dialectics are continuous tensions
or opposing forces that are normal in relationships (Wood, 2013). I found this topic interesting because I
think everyone at some point have felt these tensions and either felt like the
relationship would end because of it or ended the relationship because of the
constant “bickering.”
The
three relational dialectics that have been identified by researchers are
autonomy/connection, novelty/predictability, and openness/closedness. Autonomy/connection is the feeling of needing
to be independent and have an individual identity vs. the desire to spend time
sharing oneself with the other partner.
This is the number one continuous struggle for most couples. Novelty/predictability is the feeling of
needing to introduce new stimuli into a relationship vs. the need to have a
structured existence that provides security. It is trying to keep things exciting and fun
in a relationship while maintaining the balance of a routine as well. Openness/closedness is the conflicting desire
of openly communicating and needing privacy.
Complete openness would be intolerable and needing privacy doesn’t mean
the relationship is failing. It just
means that, as with all things, balance is best.
I really liked the topic you picked this week! It was an awesome topic, but I picked the one about disabled people instead because I felt more people would find that post more helpful and unique. I totally agree with you, lots of couples fall in and out because they don't understand why they are in a relationship to begin with. Just because looking at someone gives you the butterflies or they turn you on does not mean you should try to be their significant other. It makes me laugh when I see and hear middle schoolers and high schoolers dating because they barely know who they are yet and they are dating. More often than not they are dating for status. I remember I followed through because when you have someone to pick you up from class and walk you to the next class, you look popular and desirable. I look back now and just laugh. Good thing I didn't lose anything in those relationships because I am a very reserved and conservative person.
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