Levels of Confirmation

Depending on the situation and the persistence of the person who I find myself in conflict with, I usually do not find it difficult to confirm others when I find myself in disagreement with them if I like them.  I have, however, experienced situations where I have been absolutely unable to confirm others; trying to be as rude, hurtful, and completely disrespectful of another human being as I possibly could as I communicated with them.  In these rare times, I feel that I usually deny endorsement first, acknowledgement second, and recognition third.

                Although similar, confirming and endorsing are different ideas.  An example of someone confirming another, yet not endorsing their ideas could be seen from an experience I recently had with one of my younger sisters.  My mother revealed to me her concerns regarding my sister’s underage drinking she has seen on weekends.  As I regularly play mediator between my sister’s bad behavior and my mother’s temper, I called my sister to discuss her side of the story.  She informed me that she indeed had been getting falling-down drunk but that it was okay because she was with friends and she was old enough to worry about herself.  I told her that she was a strong girl but then I told her that statistically 1 in 5 girls get raped in the U.S. and that it usually occurred when young ladies were overly intoxicated.  We had a conversation about her actions and I expressed my concern for her safety which confirmed her as an individual without endorsing her underage alcohol consumption.