Self-Discovery: Ideas of the Self and How we Come to Be

            Communications was my first choice major in college.  I decided not to have a minor or double major in order to graduate earlier, but if I was going to choose another area to study, it would have been psychology.  This chapter has been absolutely fascinating to me in following the path of how an individual becomes aware of his/her self.  Self- concept is what I have decided to focus on for this blog session.  With the sheer volume of influences that affect the way we create our self awareness, it is safe to say that self perception is continuously changing as we encounter things or people that influence us act in manners different than before.  The four main influences that create self-concept include direct definitions, reflected appraisals, identity scripts, and attachment styles.

            Communication with particular others, or the people who we feel have importance in our lives, shape our initial thoughts about ourselves.  Direct definition communication, or expressions that directly label us and our behavior, from others can shape our initial thoughts as they come in positive or negative influence form.  Examples of direct definitions include statements such as, “You’re smart,” “You’re stupid,” etc.

The way we interpret others seeing us is termed a reflected appraisal and this is essential in understanding why we may create self-fulfilling prophecies.  When we think others are expecting us to do well, we believe we will do well and act accordingly.  In contrast, when others expect us to do poorly, we think we are only able to meet poor standards and set goals lower than we normally would set for ourselves.  These thoughts that we end up acting out are the self-fulfilling prophecies we create and live up to.

General values for who we are and what we find important can be found from analyzing the identity scripts our families set.  These scripts set boundaries for living and who you are allowed to be.  These scripts can be re-written as an adult if they were initially damaging to our self.  Examples of these scripts include, “We are a strong family,” “We are survivors,” “We are a God-fearing family,” etc.

The last contributing factor in creating self-conceptions is called an attachment style.  There are four types of attachment styles, including secure, anxious/ambivalent, fearful, and dismissive.  Secure attachment styles include a positive view of both one’s self and others.  Anxious/ambivalent styles result from negative self perception and positive perceptions of others.  Fearful styles come from negative perceptions of self and others.  Lastly, dismissive styles result from positive self views and negative views of others.  Attachment styles are prominent but not final.  With conscious effort and support, anyone can modify their perceptions to achieve their desired style.