It was a huge shocker to find that
as I was reviewing the fallacies section, I suffered from perfectionism. Or rather I should say that I temporarily
find myself looking at events and myself from this perspective. For clarification, perfectionism includes the
typical effects of an unrealistically low self-concept, high levels of stress,
chronic dissatisfaction with self, and jealousy and envy of others (Wood,
2013). It is not like I sit at home and
think about how imperfect I am, however, I have realized that I tend to hold
higher than average expectations for myself to look and perform. For example, I spend hours pouring over a
paper before I feel it is okay to turn in, even though it is nothing more than
a short essay. Or I spend an hour and a
half picking what to wear before a date even though we are planning on going to
dinner and a movie.
When it comes to intrapersonal
communication, I tend to be very hard on myself. I have gotten better over the past few years,
however I still catch myself comparing my performance and outer shell to those
others. I think that anyone can improve
their intrapersonal communication by first improving their self-talk. Saying things like, “I’m not pretty enough,”
or “I’m not smart enough” can severely cripple someone’s thoughts about
themselves. In order to break this
cycle, you literally need to retrain your thought process. When you catch yourself saying things like
this to yourself, stop and correct your negativity. Attempt to find the source of it. Are you having a bad day? Are you hungry? Are you overly-tired or angry about something
else perhaps? Maybe you think someone is
thinking bad about you? Realize that
just because a thought crossed your mind, it is not fact and you have the right
to over-right non-truths in your mind.
Like you, I was surprised when I was reading the fallacies section, because I too realized the one I suffered from was perfectionism. I tend to set high standards, goals and priorities and if I do not complete them, I feel like I have failed. I say I suffer from perfectionism, because everything has to be neat and organized. If I’m writing a simple note for myself, and I accidentally scribble or cross something out, I have to throw away the entire paper and start all over. I guess I see that the scribble makes the paper look messy, which is something I do not like. I am exactly like you too, because I spend an hour or so trying to pick out an outfit just for a simple occasion.
ReplyDeleteI also suffer from perfectionism. I never really thought about how it affects my emotions until I read this section. I find many times I obsess over something ad nauseam because I want it to be perfect. Like your example I also go over and over a paper just to make it perfect. I am my worst critic and I am very hard on myself. I am also the type that compares myself to others and holds myself in high regard just to measure up. I need to work on my self-talk by being more positive. I need to tell myself that the things I do are good enough and I don’t need to measure up to anybody.
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