Concepts Requiring Further Discussion

The one thing that I feel the book could have expanded on would be interpersonal construction of individuals affected from emotional or physical abuse and more disability coverage. I think the book did a great job of representing the communication of gender, gay, and race communication but I feel like it is important to cover abused individuals and ability-impaired people because I feel like these categories are often left out in textbooks but they are huge categories of people within our society who are chronically overlooked.

       Another group that I feel would have been beneficial to write about are the people who have given up on life; either in a suicidal manner or those nearing death for other reasons but choice.  I feel like this would have been extremely beneficial to write about because I feel like everyone at the college age has had contact with at least one person who has passed due to one of the above reasons.  I feel like knowing how to understand both what they may be going through and also better expect what emotions you may be dealing with will better preserve the relationship which could save a life or make a passing more peaceful.

Feedback on COMM 10 Course This Semester

My favorite thing about the class was the book. It seemed like the readings each week were directly applicable to whatever was occurring at the time in my life. The style it was written in makes it very easy to read and follow along with and relate to. It addressed all aspects of relationships including: aspects such as discovery of self, attachment styles, the different stages of friendships, recurrent tensions that may happen and possible ways to address them, the different stages of romantic relationships, the different stages of families, etc.

My least favorite thing about this class was the absence of a direct study guide for the testing. I feel like there were general definitions provided to review but I do not feel like they were always applicable to the testing as there were dates and names that were not included but randomly thrown in. As I stated above, I really enjoyed the readings and I studied the provided suggestions but I got a C on the first test and was absolutely devastated. The fact the final has nothing provided for testing worries me greatly.

I think the only thing that the class would need improvement on would be the study guide issue. I felt like the teacher and materials were great but I feel like the testing was sometimes not relevant to the important points of the chapter.

What I Have Learned Over the Course of the Semester

Over the course of the semester, I have learned many things about myself that I feel have really empowered me in my confidence in how far I have come within my range of communication.  For example, the discussion of the discovery and process of creating the “self” was extremely helpful in identifying my communication attachment styles and how they have evolved from when I was a child to being an adult today (I switched from an anxious ambivalent attachment style to a secure attachment style).  Another thing that comforted me was the discussion of relational dialectics.  When we read that chapter, I was going through some stuff in a personal relationship and I was considering ending the relationship due to the recurrent tensions occurring.  This section squelched those fears as I realized that the tensions occurring were natural and will be everlasting.  I have learned more about myself in this class than any other course I have taken in my college career; so much so that I a planning on purchasing the book at the end of the semester as I had only rented it.

Guidelines for Effective Family Communication

This week my freebie write is on guidelines for effective communication in families.  There are four main steps to proceed with having clear communication.  The first is maintaining equity which incorporates the social exchange theory.  This involves looking at relationships in families as negatives and positives and weighing costs vs. benefits.  As the book says this may sound cold but it in essence means try to be fair with your family.  The second step is to make daily choices to enhance intimacy with the family.  This could include having a game night or utilizing any other creative ideas to help the family spend time together and bond.  The third step is showing respect and consideration for members of the family.  This is essential when working through problems.  The fourth step is not to sweat the small stuff, meaning don’t let little things that are molehills become mountains.  Accepting one another as is is important and gives us good practice for relationships we will be in later on in life.

An Ever Evolving Idea of Marriage

Over the next 50 years, I think that the need for marriage will become completely obsolete in terms of emotional needs and utilized more for financial breaks.  I think that due to the waning economy, there will be a need for 2 working parents if anyone wants to have a family at all which leaves less time to spend with the children.  The fact that women are able to hold down jobs with higher wages allows more independent and empowered attitudes in relationships (and overall) today which has led to them to want to settle down in a relationship later on in life.  I also would predict that established biological family sizes will decrease the number of children it produces due to couple’s later starts in life, more accepted autonomy in relationships due to more acceptance of individuality, and higher costs of child rearing.  Lastly, I believe that relationship goals will focus more on companionship and emotional support in marriages rather than the assumed goal of raising a family.  More couples today are attempting to find life companions that enjoy similar interests and the acceptance of non-child rearing relationships has never been higher. 

Definitions of Family

When I think of my definition of family, I do not think of family as being something purely biological.  Many people think of family as being something related and that’s even how the word “family” is used in scientific terms, as something similar…  That’s one way to see it but I think a family is best defined as a group of people that have trust, respect, loyalty, and commitment to one another.  My mind places no limitations or restrictions on what a family can be…  I think the major things that family members do is support one another, build one another up and look out for and protect each other.  The types of relationships that really don’t fit into my definition of “family” include passive-congenial, devitalized, and conflict-habituated marriage types.  I write this as passive-congenial marriage lacks the building up of one another but they do protect and support (in this case would be financial, not emotional).  Devitalized marriage has less support and no building up of one another and offers no protection of the members.  Lastly, conflict-habituated marriage offers none of the three aspects that I believe belong to participating in a family.

Guidelines for Communicating in Romantic Relationships

The free write topic that most intrigued me this week was the “Guidelines for Communicating in Romantic Relationships.”  There were four guidelines that Chapter 11 offered including: engraining in dual perspective, practicing safe sex, managing conflict constructively, and adapting communication to maintain long distance relationships.  This section caught my eye for several reasons, mainly the safe sex and constructive conflict sections.  The statistics the book provides regarding safe sex are staggering, including: “One in two sexually active youths will contract an STD by age 25 (pg. 288),” and “One in five people with HIV do not know they have it (pg. 289).”  I know many people that have STDs and like the book suggests, many have acquired them while intoxicated under impaired judgment.  It is very hard seeing what they go through and what they have put their partners through by infecting them.

The constructive conflict management section hit a note for me as well with the statement about how relationships are fragile.  Sometimes you say make a demeaning remark to your partner that you don’t think is a big deal but it could shatter their composure instantly.  Trying to remain patient, using dual perspective, and listening is soooo hard sometimes but it makes it worthwhile when you can better create an environment where you can appreciate your partner and the relationship because you know it is solid, understanding, and safe for both of you to trust and be yourselves.